A Day to Remember Weddings
Reverend Thomas D. James -- Ordained Christian Minister
Thank you for visiting my web site. I look forward to performing your wedding ceremony at the location of your choice while in Santa Barbara, Ventura or Northern Los Angeles counties.

Call at (805) 647-6808 or E-mail at thomj_pamj@yahoo.com so your wedding day will truly be A DAY TO REMEMBER.

By the way, I have included some wedding pictures on the following pages so be sure to click on the pages at the top to see them.

We can also plan your entire wedding and arrange for reception area, photographer, florist, DJ . . . everything so you don't have to worry about it.

Below is a sample ceremony which we can customize together for your special day.


On behalf of HERFIRST and HISFIRST, I would like to welcome all of you here today. Each of you has given something of yourself into their lives, and they want you to know that they will always treasure your love, guidance, and encouragement. And, because you are all so special to them, they feel that it is important that you be here with them today as they begin this new chapter in their lives.

Who presents this woman to be married to this man?
(delete if not applicable)

Today, we are gathered together in the sight of God to witness and bless the joining together of HISFIRST and HERFIRST in marriage. God created us male and female for each other and thus we were created to be married. Because it is in this spirit that HISFIRST and HERFIRST have come together today to give themselves to one another in marriage, it is appropriate that we pray together.

Let us pray --
O Lord, this is a happy day for all of us because this is the wedding day of HISFIRST and HERFIRST. They have come now before You pledging their lives and their hearts to one another. We ask that they be always be as true and loving as they are at this moment and that You fill their hearts with kindness and understanding which will continue to blossom always. Help them to be sweetheart, helpmate, friend, and guide to each other; so that together they may meet everything that life has to offer. May their home truly be a place of love and harmony. Bless their wedding day we pray and walk beside them, Lord, through all their time together. Amen

Pastor to the persons who are to marry --

HISFIRST and HERFIRST, I am going to ask you now, in the presence of God and these people, to declare your intention to enter into union with one another. But first, please face one another and join hands.

Now that you have joined your hands in fellowship as a token of your mutual love, you need to understand that you make these vows before God.
And so now I ask you . . .

Pastor to HERFIRST --
HERFIRST do you take HISFIRST to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage; to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
HERFIRST answers "I do!"

Pastor to HISFIRST --
HISFIRST do you take HERFIRST to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage; to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? HISFIRST answers "I do!"

HISFIRST and HERFIRST, you have gathered your friends and family together to celebrate this special day with you. And, there is no doubt, you will get a lot of advice today. Well, preachers too, are supposed to have some good advice for wedding partners...and I guess that is why I'm here sharing center stage with you right now!
Today, the thoughts that I would like to share with you are more than common sense, and more than just my own experiences as a married man. You see, what I would like to share today comes from thousands of years of human experience. . . from people living together and discovering what you both already know already and, in fact, has brought you here to this moment today. The bond that binds us all together is the bond we call love; because, if nothing else, the Bible is a record of people forming relationships both with one another and with God. Over and over the Bible says that the only foundation for a strong relationship is what has brought you to this moment and that is, of course, LOVE. You see, this thing we call marriage is built on love. You would not even be here today if that foundation of love had not already been established between you. You would not be about to pledge your lives to one another if you did not already love one another. So, the foundation of your marriage is love. So, I think it is important that I say a few words about what love is and how it becomes the foundation of your lives together. There is probably no better definition of this love than the definition found in 1 Corinthians 13:

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast,
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude
Love is not self-seeking,
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, and always perseveres.
So, this foundation of your marriage, Love, is something that lasts forever!

So, what I am trying to say is that a MARRIAGE relationship that lasts is not an arrangement of convenience; and it is much more than just signing names to a piece of paper (which, of course, you will do). No, a marriage that lasts is MUCH more that this. It is an agreement between two people who have pledged to love each other, to trust each other, and to face all that life has to offer, together. And though marriage is a moral commitment -- this is not a commitment which is intended to bind, nor give one person possession in any way over the other, but just the opposite -- to allow freedom for both of you as your merge your two lives and personalities together. It is built on the basic elements of who you are in no way subtracting from who you are -- but adding each of you to a new union which becomes more than the sum of the two parts.
HISFIRST and HERFIRST, another way of thinking about this relationship is to think of a good friend, because a good friend is someone you like to be with, go places with, laugh with, cry with. But a BEST friend is even more than this, because with your best friend you can discuss your ideas, your hopes and dreams, and you understand and appreciate each other's thoughts and needs. Your best friend somehow understands your needs better than you do. Sometimes, just being together is what you need. Sometimes, holding hands is what you need. So, I would like to point out (here minister holds couples hands) that you are right now holding the hand of the best friend that you will ever have. Remember always that it is the privilege of both the husband and the wife to enjoy the company of each other.

Please repeat these vows after me -- (start with HISFIRST)

HISFIRST to HERFIRST --
I, HISFIRST, take you HERFIRST, to be my wife
To have and to hold
from this day forward,
I promise to be your true and loyal husband
and to honor and love you always.
I do this because I love you today
I will love you tomorrow
and I will always love you.


HERFIRST to HISFIRST --
I, HERFIRST, take you HISFIRST , to be my husband
To have and to hold
from this day forward,
I promise to be your true and loyal wife
and to honor and love you always.
I do this because I love you today
I will love you tomorrow
and I will always love you.

Pastor to couple --
Throughout time, the ring has been a symbol of unending love, because like time, the ring has no beginning and no end. It is a circle -- the emblem of eternity. These rings are made of gold, the purest metal, and the type that is least tarnished and most enduring; to show how lasting and imperishable is the faith which is now mutually pledged.

Pastor to HISFIRST --
HISFIRST, do you have such a symbol of you love for HERFIRST?
HISFIRST answers "I do"

HERFIRST, I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love
and as a continuing reminder
that I have chosen you
to be the one to share my life.

Pastor to HERFIRST--
HERFIRST, do you have such a symbol of your love for HISFIRST?
HERFIRST answers, "I do."

HISFIRST, I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love
and as a continuing reminder
that I have chosen you
to be the one to share my life.

Let us pray --
We ask You, Lord, to bless this couple whose lives are now joined in one unbroken circle and may they find in each other the love that all men and women hunger to find. May they continue to grow in the understanding of this new covenant they have entered into; and may these rings on their fingers symbolize the touch of Your spirit of love in their hearts forever. It is written that a three-strand cord shall not easily be broken. We pray that the first cord be HISFIRST, the second strand HERFIRST, and that You, Lord, be the third. So that the cord that is formed here today, is never easily broken. Amen

Pastor to couple --
HISFIRST and HERFIRST, you have made your vows before God and before these witnesses, and before each other; and, you have sealed your vows with the giving and receiving of these rings. So now, I pronounce you HUSBAND AND WIFE.
HISFIRST and HERFIRST, you may now kiss one another.

If there are young children in your family, consider the presentation of a necklace for girls and a watch or other token for boys. I will explain that both of you want the children to know that they are an important part of this family.

Unity Candle:
(Not recommended if outdoors)
It is now my very special privilege to be the first to address you as husband and wife, which you now are. Behind me there are two candles. Candles have always symbolized life. These candles symbolize the two of you. Your lives have been individual until this moment. You will also see a single candle. From this moment on, your two lives become one. I invite you now, to light the unity candle
Rose Ceremony
(Use more roses if you want to give one to more than just mothers-in-laws)
I am honored to now be the first to address you as husband and wife -- which you now are! In my hands I have two roses. Today I would like for you to think of these roses as signifying the love, the foundation of your marriage that I have been talking about today. I would like to present you with your first gift as a married couple and that gift is, of course, the gift of love as symbolized by these roses. (Minister hands roses to husband and wife.) Likewise, I would like to invite you to exchange your roses with each other -- symbolizing your first gift to each other as husband and wife. That gift, of course, is the gift of love. (Couple exchanges roses).

Too often, we view a marriage as simply the union of two people. The truth is, that marriage is much broader; and while it is true that a new family has been formed here today, it is not true that the "old" family has been left behind in any way. Therefore, I would like you to present your roses to your new mother in laws signifying the unity of love that now unites you all as one larger family. Please present your roses to them now.

Pastor to everyone:

At the beginning of this ceremony, I said that everyone here today had been invited here because of your love, guidance and encouragement. Your support will always be a vital part of their marriage and I would now like to ask all of you to pledge your support now to HISFIRST and HERFIRST. Do all of you, friends and family, by God's grace, promise to do everything in your power to uphold and care for this new family in their marriage?
Please answer, "I do!"
People: "I DO!!!!!"

Couple faces congregation arm-in-arm and bride holds bouquet --

Pastor to people
Matthew 19: 1-6
From the beginning, God made men and women male and female. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together let no man put asunder.

Ladies and gentlemen: It gives me great pleasure to be the first to introduce:
Mr. and Mrs. HISFIRST and HERFIRST HISLAST



(This ceremony lasts approximately 10-15 minutes)

e-mail: thom_pam@Juno.com